Stodgeball – Jay Gets Battered

I said stodge ball.  Not dodge ball!

Masterchef Recap – 5 June 2011

First to the Masterchef House where we find the contestants sharing and caring.  Hayden  learning the cello under the tutelage of Craig.  Kumar leading a tai chi Masterclass, and  in a sign of things to come Jay giving Personal Trainer Arena’s  boxing gloves a “battering.”

Eighteen contestants remain, but there is only one Masterchef  Title up for grabs.  To the Masterchef Kitchen where an Invention Test awaits.  To the rules.  A Spanish Challenge – Viva Espanol!  Three pairs of core ingredients:

1.      Lamb / Anchovy

2.      Sherry / Oranges

3.      Squid / Chorizo

Eyes light up.  We know Jay will go the squid / chorizo option.  He thinks he can create “a cracker”  15 ingredients allowed and 75 minutes cooking time.  Everyone pretty happy as Jay leads the charge into the pantry, snatching his shopping basket as he goes.  But…. we know its never this easy as Matt Preston confirms.  Its needs to be a “Supercharged Challenge.”  Gary and George roam the room and sure enough it’s the big basket swap as baskets are redistributed by the sadistic judges.

Everyone is dismayed.   None more so than Dani. She has to come up with “a Spanish dessert, that’s Spanish,” she decides on a Spanish trifle.  She knows “it’s not right but my brain doesn’t register this.”

Gary tells us there’s one hour to go “time to grab the bull by the horns.”

Jay, forced to relinquish his beloved squid and chorizo, is working on a churros dessert.  He has batter from one end of his workbench to the other. 

In the worst pun of the series thus far George notes that “more than a few of you are in a world of Spain.” 15 minutes to go.

Jay continues to battle with his batter.  Gary notes a gap in his culinary skills has been exposed. Jay can't make donuts. StKildaFlaneur recalls Jay in boxing gloves back in the Masterchef House.  Is this the cleverest of analogies?  Jay now copping a battering?  Perhaps we need to get out more.

With only five minutes remaining George reminds everyone that they’ll be facing a Spanish Inquisition at the judging table.

Tasting commences with Danielle’s tapas, which taste of warmth and sunshine.  Dani’s trifle is adjudged a disaster by Gary.  Michael’s trio tapas of lamb gets a wow from Matt. 

Jay approaches with his churros.  We know it won’t be good.  Gary confirms this.  A disaster – heavy stodgeball.  Chocolate and whipped cream delicious, but as Gary reminds us – his 9 year old daughter can make these.

Arena momentarily stems Gary’s vitriolic flow.  Her best dish of the competition so far.  Gary is soon back to Mr Nasty with Ellie’s Stuffed Peppers with Orange.  He takes sadistic pleasure as her pronounces her dish “strangely unpleasant.”  Tears flow. George steps in with some timely philosophy and  there is a group hug. 

Next up to present is Mat who wants to put his dish in the bin.  Gary continues to dish it out – accusing Mat of trying to “dress something up which can’t be dressed up – looks horrid – unacceptable.”  Last up is Shannon who thankfully has done a good job.

Judgement time.

Good news for Arena, Danielle, Shannon and Michael.  Especially Shannon who will be cooking for immunity.

We await the bad news.  Three to face an Elimination Pressure Test.  Fronting up tomorrow will be Jay, Ellie and Dani. 

Finally we would like to congratulate the sciptwriters on their restraint. StKildaFlaneur though it was only a matter of time before a “Hasta La Vista” was dropped.  Muchas Gracias  it wasn’t.