With all three commercial television networks offering us their take on current affairs in the all important 6.30pm lead into the peak rating timeslot, you would think Australians must have their collective fingers right on the pulse of world events.
To put this hypothesis to the test StKildaFlaneur took a look at what was on offer on a randomly selected recent evening.
As a benchmark we firstly noted the top 10 news stories on SBS’s World News Australia, which in order were:
1. Government appointed Climate Change Commission releases report “The Critical Decade”
2. Growing death toll feared in Missouri tornado
3. Afghan Taliban deny reports of death of Mullah Omar
4. President Obama prepared to order further missions against high value targets
5. 10 killed in siege at naval base in Karachi in revenge attack
6. President Obama defends latest strategy for peace in the Middle East
7. New volcanic eruption in Iceland threatens European airspace
8. Yemeni political crisis deepens raising spectre of civil war
9. EU formally establishes diplomatic relations with Libyan rebels
10. Thousand join funeral procession in Syria after 8 mourners killed at earlier funeral
Some pretty major and meaty stories there, as I am sure you will agree. Let’s see how these were addressed by the leading journalists in the land.
First up we join the Today Tonight team on Seven.
Leading off in a “Today Tonight Exclusive” was a “Wiggles Bombshell” featuring Greg the former yellow skivvied Wiggle. We learn about his “life and death battle with a mystery illness”, and a possible return (perhaps in a different coloured skivvy). Greg also “for the first time speaks openly about blowing a fortune.” Although in fact he actually tells us he didn’t blow a fortune.
Next up is a “power bill price shock.” With power bills expected to double in the next 6 years we get “an exclusive look at what’s new that promises to slash your bills” Although in fact the device only tells you how much power you are using, and you slash your bills by turning off light and power switches. This is most helpfully illustrated by vision of a number of different people....turning off switches.
For story three we get “Dancing With The Stars Fresh Controversy as Manu The Popular French Chef Defends His Sexist Comment”. After recapping the latest episode, we learn that Manu is in hot water for commenting “that suddenly I am being told what to do by a woman” when he was surprised by a visit from his dance partner (who happened to be accompanied by a film crew) whilst at his restaurant. It may not surprise readers to learn that Dancing With The Stars is also featured on Channel 7. (more about blatant network cross promotions in a future blog).
Fourth up is an old favourite – the greedy conman! The culprit having just been sentenced to 10 months imprisonment provides the opportunity to recap on the story of “Blind Joey” a conman posing as vision impaired to trick people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. We enjoy the vision as Joey brandishing his cane runs from the camera, whilst the intrepid journalist chasing him calls out “Joey, Joey, you’re supposed to blind mate!”
The last story for the evening relates to “Secret Q Score Ratings Leaked.” We learn that the television network ratings record the popularity of the high profile network celebrities, and that this is useful for advertising purposes (who would have imagined), although this “secret bible on who’s hot and who’s not” has never before been published. Again you may not be surprised that this is accompanied by more network cross promotion.
We finish with a preview of tomorrows show – “What happened to the lucky country? Desperate times for forgotten pensioners living in squalor – a battle they should not have to fight.”
Current Affairs Relevance - 0/5
Next it’s over to A Current Affair on Nine.
First up is “a $400,000 project in just one week by an army of volunteers.” We meet Heidi who was a happy mother of two before becoming a quadriplegic in an accident in which her car was struck by a falling tree. The family had been building their dream home for eight years whilst living in a shed and caravan. As a result of the accident they have no money left to finish the house.
Time therefore to introduce the army of volunteers donating their time and money to complete the task. There is no water for the pool. Fortunately the fire brigade is only a phone call away! A tractor gets bogged and we meet some girls driving trucks and excavators. Throughout we have a soundtrack of the Village Peoples “Macho Man” playing and some hilarious shots of tradies hamming it up for the camera’s. I should also mention we also saw 24 (that’s right 24) blatant promotions (complete with logo’s and telephone numbers) from the generous tradies (including the likes of IKEA and Beacon Lighting). Regrettably StKildaFlaneur will not be covering part 2 tomorrow night when the family arrive back at their new home.
Only enough time remains for one more story covering “soup recipes to help you lose weight.” We learn that “soup diets are back on the menu” and how three different soup diets helped three different women. An expert provided comments on each of the diets and we learn that the cabbage soup diet is high in cabbage.
Current Affairs Relevance - 0/2
Finally we take a look at 6.30 with George Negus on Ten.
Leading off is a follow up on the Christchurch earthquake, where we hear from “the woman who ran and lived” on how she is coping with lost friends and workmates.
Next up is the Battery Sheep Factory, where sheep reared for ultra fine wool are kept indoors in wooden pens.
The third story investigates the long term impact of brain injuries in contact sports, which provides a great opportunity to relive some of those great bone breaking tackles and collisions in rugby and Aussie rules.
Just as we are giving up all hope of a story relevant to the days major news events, we get an interview with a member of the Climate Change Commission (SBS’s lead story of the day!!!!). We learn that “polarised political debate is holding us back” and that with respect to the climate “no doubt human influence is significant.”
Next up is Obama. Could we be on a roll, given he featured at #4 and #6 in SBS’s top 10 news items? Regrettably this was not to be. Instead we visit the Irish village of Moneygall, ancestral home of Obama’s great great great grandfather on his mothers side, ahead of his forthcoming stop off. One of the locals tells us she used to call him “Abracadabra” (although this apparent reference to a Steve Miller Band song is not explained). We see a lot of Guinness being drunk.
We close with an “exclusive behind the scenes peek” at the National Gallery of Victoria’s 150th anniversary preparations.
Current Affairs Relevance - 1/6
Channel 10 was therefore the clear winner with the only relevant story out of the thirteen featured.
So what does this tell us about Australians and current affairs? I’m not so sure we want to go there.
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