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| Clouds Gather Over The George |
Friday, 3 June 2011
What's A Massa? Man
Masterchef Recap – 2 June 2011
Dawn breaks over the Masterchef House on the day of another Elimination Challenge. Andrew gazes at the Masterchef symbol for what we know could be the last time. In a brief backstory we learn more about the work place incident that “crushed his soul” - apparently a bus was involved.
Meanwhile Kumar who is entering his fourth Elimination Challenge remains calm, practising tai chi by the waterfront. In a nice piece of juxtaposition the cameraman captures the alignment of Kumars head with a sacred Buddha image. We don’t yet know it, but this is a link to a theme.
Hayden is for once sedentary and in a sombre mood. He knows “someone’s not coming home.”
As Andrew and Kumar don their aprons, we see last night’s winners Billy and Shannon about to board a chopper to whisk them off to their reward Private Masterclass. Soon they are flying over Sydney’s northern beaches. We know this because there is a second chopper filming their flight.
Andrew and Kumar enter the Masterchef Kitchen and in step approach the judges. Their fate is to be decided by one dish. It’s “make or break.” A pot is produced. Kumar is bending over it sniffing at the lid. Soon even the other contestants viewing from the gallery above are sniffing the air. We can only imagine what it will be like when the lid is whipped off, which soon occurs to astonished gasps….it’s a Massaman Curry! But we learn it’s not a great one. In fact it’s a bad one. It’s a “Fix That Dish” challenge.
Each will have eight steps to add a single ingredient and ten minutes each time to progress the dish. Once used an ingredient cannot be used again. They will undertake each step sequentially. Before starting its time to taste. It’s a soupy horrible mess – one of the worst things Andrew has tasted in his life. Kumar thinks the meat is as tough as old boots.
Who will have the edge? It should be Kumar with his Sri Lankan background and love of curries, but he’s never cooked a Massaman before. Andrew, looking smug boasts he makes it all the time - even making his paste from scratch. He sums up the challenge – “I just have to beat Kumar.”
The Massaman style of curry arrived in Siam with the first Persian envoy to the Court of Ayuthyia, Sheik Amed, in the 16th century. It is the most complex and time consuming Thai curry to make – but we digress.
Let’s see how it unfolds as the mind games begin. Kumar wins the toss and elects to start.
Kumar #1 – blitzes some cashew nuts which he reserves
We hear from Peter who recounts that Kumar is known in the Masterchef House as “the Panther” – you never know when he’ll pounce!
Andrew #1 – Adds turmeric to his sauce.
Kumar #2 – Blitzes some shallots to a paste. Tactically he’s telling Andrew nothing.
Andrew #2 – Selects some ginger, preferring this over galangal, which has some heads shaking.
Kumar #3 – Galangal
Andrew #3 – Shallots
Kumar #4 – Coriander root
Andrew #4 – Shallots – for sweetness
Four steps down, four to go. Andrew finally puts his meat back into the sauce. Matt likes Andrew’s sauce. Gary likes Kumar’s sauce.
Upstairs the others have realised there’s a couple of core elements that are yet to appear.
The boys are soon matching each other every step of the way.
Kumar #5 – Lime for acidity, but could it be too early?
Andrew #5 – Palm sugar
Kumar #6– Palm sugar
Andrew #6 – Fish sauce
Kumar #7 – Fish sauce
Andrew #7 – Limes. At this point Andrew is supremely confident. Doesn’t think he’ll bother with an eighth step.
Kumar #8– With only one step remaining, Kumar’s in turmoil. Really doesn’t know what he should do. He doesn’t want to put a foot wrong. Finally he opts for coconut cream playing safe.
Andrew #8 – Decides to add another ingredient after all - coconut cream.
As the dishes are brought forward to the judges, Andrew realises he’s forgotten the potato (hasn’t yet remembered that he also forgot the peanuts). But didn’t he tell us he makes this all the time? He remains positive commenting that Kumar’s dish looks “pale and porridgy.”
What will Matt and George think?
Andrew’s meat is dry but the sauce nicely reduced. There are “big vibrant gutsy flavours.”
For Kumar his ground cashews add creaminess but also an unexpected texture. The meat is tender but the real issue is that “squeaky texture.”
It’s going to be a close one. The curry that Matt would most like to eat is Kumar’s, whilst Gary would rather eat Andrew’s. But they need to decide who has done the best job. It’s Kumar – he’s captured the creaminess and oiliness and cooked his meat right.
Right now Andrew is feeling “a real sense of loss but no regrets.”
As Kumar once again walks back into the Masterchef House, Shannon is “mortified that Andrew’s not back.” Kate can’t help but feel disappointed for Andrew because “he especially wanted to be in the competition.”
The last we see of Andrew he’s stroking his cat as he ponders a search for a job in a commercial kitchen.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Spam In A Can!
A quiet morning in the Masterchef House as the contestants recuperate from their big week in W.A. Shannon puts on her lucky necklace and decides it’s time for her to “mix it up.” We have an inkling she could be in for a big day.
Entering the Masterchef Kitchen, Dani observes benches set up and concludes it looks like they’ll be cooking. With his reward from last night’s Immunity Challenge Jay is safe from elimination. He heads upstairs to observe from the gallery.
The rules of engagement are explained by Matt Preston resplendent in shades of mauve. No core ingredient, no theme, a pantry chock full of ingredients and as much as you like in 10 minutes, followed by 90 minutes cooking. The contestants are excited. It’s too good to be true. Of course it is.
Entering the pantry the waiting camera captures the bewilderment. Dani “chokes up and can’t breathe.” Sun is “surprised no one burst into tears, because it’s a horror story.” Shannon “has no friggin’ idea what to do.” Danielle’s “heart has sunk a little” and Ellie is wondering where’s all the fresh produce? Oh yes, one thing Matt forgot to mention – it’s a tinned and frozen food challenge.
Hayden brings us to back to reality recalling the challenges of grassroots everyday cooking, as everyone wonders what to do with their piles of cans. The smart amateur cooks have chosen deserts and are underway. Alana is feeling really frazzled and Dani seems to be planning a smorgasbord -she has three dishes on the go as Gary announces “it’s canned chaos – one hour to go!”
Shannon is fully invested in her ice-cream but with two burnt batches of caramel is concentrating hard on her final attempt. Gary has spotted Andrews tinned clams and crab and already knows he’s in trouble. Gary’s countdown continues – “15 minutes, time to pop the lid off this challenge and cook us something delicious!”
Time to plate up. Dani’s mind is in a fluster and she can’t think straight as she drops her soft shell crab dish on the floor. Good thing she has two spare alternatives. It’s all starting to come together for Alana. She’s put her foam into the flask, piped it down, squeezes the trigger and...explodes her desert! She thinks she’s automatically into the bottom two.
Alana is first to be called forward. She has done her best to recover her Layered Lychee and Chocolate Jelly Dessert, disguising it with some Tuilles. It’s well received.
Next up is Andrew with a Crab and Clam Mousse Tart which appears to be surrounded by a moat of Green Lentil Salsa. His comedic presentation is the least of his problems. Gary doesn’t even want to taste it. “Oooh,” the mousse is “ghastly gag material.” At least the lentils were OK.
Billy presents his Coconut Panna Cotta with Chocolate Mousse and Guava Sorbet. Matt loves it. George pronounces it “sex on a plate.”
It’s a hard act for Kumar to follow with Salmon Crusted with Wasabi and Lemon Myrtle served with Stir Fried Vegetables. Matt’s sad shake of the head says it all – oily, slippery, mushy texture. Arena gets a smile and a nod for her Blueberry Custard Tart, and the hero of Adams Seafood Curry dish were the accompanying Spring Rolls which George thought were “a cracker.”
We continue with Rachel and her Salmon En Croute which George didn’t think was his cup of tea. Dani wants to go and hide in her bedroom rather than present her dishes but fronts up with a Tom Yum Soup and Guava Custard Tart. Questioned by Gary, we learn it’s “Sad Dani” not “Happy Dani” today. She’s knows it’s bad and “feels like she’s spinning in a giant tornado.” As a tear rolls down her cheek it’s time for some philosophy from George “you have to clear your mind when you cook, because when you’re mind is full of stuff, you can’t cook straight.”
Finally we get to see Shannon and her chocolate and cherry ice-cream sandwich. Matt likes the crunch in the biscuit. George thinks it’s “the day that you shine.” Shannon is proud of “having cooked without fear.”
Five contenders for the top two as Billy, Arena, Alana, Adam and Shannon are called forward. Billy has produced the cleverest dish by far. Joining him for the reward Private Masterclass is Shannon.
Time to discover who will cook off in tomorrow’s Elimination Challenge. Andrew and Kumar are summonsed. No build up here – it’s them. Rachel and Dani have dodged a bullet.
What’s Making News In Oz? (An Exclusive StKildaFlaneur In Depth Investigation)
With all three commercial television networks offering us their take on current affairs in the all important 6.30pm lead into the peak rating timeslot, you would think Australians must have their collective fingers right on the pulse of world events.
To put this hypothesis to the test StKildaFlaneur took a look at what was on offer on a randomly selected recent evening.
As a benchmark we firstly noted the top 10 news stories on SBS’s World News Australia, which in order were:
1. Government appointed Climate Change Commission releases report “The Critical Decade”
2. Growing death toll feared in Missouri tornado
3. Afghan Taliban deny reports of death of Mullah Omar
4. President Obama prepared to order further missions against high value targets
5. 10 killed in siege at naval base in Karachi in revenge attack
6. President Obama defends latest strategy for peace in the Middle East
7. New volcanic eruption in Iceland threatens European airspace
8. Yemeni political crisis deepens raising spectre of civil war
9. EU formally establishes diplomatic relations with Libyan rebels
10. Thousand join funeral procession in Syria after 8 mourners killed at earlier funeral
Some pretty major and meaty stories there, as I am sure you will agree. Let’s see how these were addressed by the leading journalists in the land.
First up we join the Today Tonight team on Seven.
Leading off in a “Today Tonight Exclusive” was a “Wiggles Bombshell” featuring Greg the former yellow skivvied Wiggle. We learn about his “life and death battle with a mystery illness”, and a possible return (perhaps in a different coloured skivvy). Greg also “for the first time speaks openly about blowing a fortune.” Although in fact he actually tells us he didn’t blow a fortune.
Next up is a “power bill price shock.” With power bills expected to double in the next 6 years we get “an exclusive look at what’s new that promises to slash your bills” Although in fact the device only tells you how much power you are using, and you slash your bills by turning off light and power switches. This is most helpfully illustrated by vision of a number of different people....turning off switches.
For story three we get “Dancing With The Stars Fresh Controversy as Manu The Popular French Chef Defends His Sexist Comment”. After recapping the latest episode, we learn that Manu is in hot water for commenting “that suddenly I am being told what to do by a woman” when he was surprised by a visit from his dance partner (who happened to be accompanied by a film crew) whilst at his restaurant. It may not surprise readers to learn that Dancing With The Stars is also featured on Channel 7. (more about blatant network cross promotions in a future blog).
Fourth up is an old favourite – the greedy conman! The culprit having just been sentenced to 10 months imprisonment provides the opportunity to recap on the story of “Blind Joey” a conman posing as vision impaired to trick people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. We enjoy the vision as Joey brandishing his cane runs from the camera, whilst the intrepid journalist chasing him calls out “Joey, Joey, you’re supposed to blind mate!”
The last story for the evening relates to “Secret Q Score Ratings Leaked.” We learn that the television network ratings record the popularity of the high profile network celebrities, and that this is useful for advertising purposes (who would have imagined), although this “secret bible on who’s hot and who’s not” has never before been published. Again you may not be surprised that this is accompanied by more network cross promotion.
We finish with a preview of tomorrows show – “What happened to the lucky country? Desperate times for forgotten pensioners living in squalor – a battle they should not have to fight.”
Current Affairs Relevance - 0/5
Next it’s over to A Current Affair on Nine.
First up is “a $400,000 project in just one week by an army of volunteers.” We meet Heidi who was a happy mother of two before becoming a quadriplegic in an accident in which her car was struck by a falling tree. The family had been building their dream home for eight years whilst living in a shed and caravan. As a result of the accident they have no money left to finish the house.
Time therefore to introduce the army of volunteers donating their time and money to complete the task. There is no water for the pool. Fortunately the fire brigade is only a phone call away! A tractor gets bogged and we meet some girls driving trucks and excavators. Throughout we have a soundtrack of the Village Peoples “Macho Man” playing and some hilarious shots of tradies hamming it up for the camera’s. I should also mention we also saw 24 (that’s right 24) blatant promotions (complete with logo’s and telephone numbers) from the generous tradies (including the likes of IKEA and Beacon Lighting). Regrettably StKildaFlaneur will not be covering part 2 tomorrow night when the family arrive back at their new home.
Only enough time remains for one more story covering “soup recipes to help you lose weight.” We learn that “soup diets are back on the menu” and how three different soup diets helped three different women. An expert provided comments on each of the diets and we learn that the cabbage soup diet is high in cabbage.
Current Affairs Relevance - 0/2
Finally we take a look at 6.30 with George Negus on Ten.
Leading off is a follow up on the Christchurch earthquake, where we hear from “the woman who ran and lived” on how she is coping with lost friends and workmates.
Next up is the Battery Sheep Factory, where sheep reared for ultra fine wool are kept indoors in wooden pens.
The third story investigates the long term impact of brain injuries in contact sports, which provides a great opportunity to relive some of those great bone breaking tackles and collisions in rugby and Aussie rules.
Just as we are giving up all hope of a story relevant to the days major news events, we get an interview with a member of the Climate Change Commission (SBS’s lead story of the day!!!!). We learn that “polarised political debate is holding us back” and that with respect to the climate “no doubt human influence is significant.”
Next up is Obama. Could we be on a roll, given he featured at #4 and #6 in SBS’s top 10 news items? Regrettably this was not to be. Instead we visit the Irish village of Moneygall, ancestral home of Obama’s great great great grandfather on his mothers side, ahead of his forthcoming stop off. One of the locals tells us she used to call him “Abracadabra” (although this apparent reference to a Steve Miller Band song is not explained). We see a lot of Guinness being drunk.
We close with an “exclusive behind the scenes peek” at the National Gallery of Victoria’s 150th anniversary preparations.
Current Affairs Relevance - 1/6
Channel 10 was therefore the clear winner with the only relevant story out of the thirteen featured.
So what does this tell us about Australians and current affairs? I’m not so sure we want to go there.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
What’s Boss Hogg doing on Masterchef?
Masterchef Recap – 31 May 2011
Today it’s all about Jay’s continuing quest for that illusive Immunity Pin. He looks like he means business as he irons his chef’s whites before we see him purposefully striding out to sea on the 1,841 metre Busselton jetty. There is no need for Rachel to remind us that we’re still in W.A.
Jay is greeted by the other contestants and judges at the end of the pier as we await his adversary’s arrival by speedboat. Local chef Tony steps off brandishing a pair of magnificent red emperors.
Standing with George and Gary is a big, big man in a white suit and wide brimmed hat. He looks familiar. Could Boss Hogg be a guest judge tonight?
What is on the menu? The cloche is lifted and we discover a seafood stew containing mussels, marron, tiger prawns, scallops, red emperor and a flavoursome bisque. Invited to taste Jay is soon scoffing a prawn. He is confident and thinks he can “give it a good go.” Jay gets cracking with a 10 minute head start as Gary poses the question “who’s going to sink and who’s going to swim?”
Tony gives Jay a hint to save the carrots for later and Jay advises his intent to use his “food brain” instead of recipe reading. The ten minutes are up and Tony is looking to create a beautiful clear broth. As prepping continues there is plenty of banter coming from Jay. We hope he’s not getting ahead of himself. Different techniques are used for the bisques which has George looking concerned.
Tony looks like he’s finished in plenty of time, but realises he’s left the adductor muscles on his scallops. In the last few seconds he picks through his dish frantically cutting off these hard little strips. He hopes he’s got them all. Jay has also finished and feels confident – “if my seafood is cooked correctly I’ve got this one in the bag.”
Time for the blind tasting. Jay’s plate is up first. George shares with us his initial observations that the mussels have opened and the oysters have been shucked. We then learn that the broth has the flavour of crustaceans – an important element in a shellfish soup. Scores are in. Two 7’s and an 8, giving a credible total of 22.
Tony’s plate is next. The first thing noted is the more prominent placement of the marron in the piled crustaceans. By now we have realised the big guy in the white suit is Masterchef’s own Matt Preston. Bad luck for Tony – Matt’s found an adductor muscle. Time for scoring. The first two scores are given a 7 and an 8. It all comes down to Matt, and we remember that stray adductor muscle. We know it will be close. It’s an 8. Tony wins by the narrowest of margins. His job is safe! The difference in the end was his “absolute respect to all the seafood on the dish.”
The victor and vanquished make plans for a fishing trip as they start the long walk back down the jetty.
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